Containment is the Only Priority

Control. Cages. Walls. Jails. Prisons. Purgatories. Fences. Captivity. I’ve used them all to keep it locked up. I’ve made every type of magic to keep it pent up, controlled, and fed. I’ve used mountains. I’ve used mines. The oceans work, and so do the rivers. There is nothing better than a monster locked in some watery abyss with a few eels for company. It puts some space between you and the abomination. How distant the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park looked behind those threads of electric steel. The same goes for depression.

Containment is the only priority.

For a while, I’ve been writing this giant fiction story called DOL 39 where the entire novel is based around a city sharing a mutual relationship with a god-like monster about nine miles away. I’m releasing the first part of the tale on Halloween via Kindle. Containment is the only priority is the motto the citizens and armed forces live by in DOL 39. They can die a thousand times as long as the DOL stays confined to its palace.

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about trying to control a monster. Before I started this blog. Before I published Beware the Ills. Before I had any sense of confidence in my style of written word, I wrote an entire novel about a monster being locked out in deep space. There was a whole military to keep it under control. People were born out in space containing this devil they call Eckamon. There are thousands of eyes watching this one monster at all hours of the day. The characters stare through stars and comets. They watch the heavenly nebula’s spread like cosmic ink against an abyssal canvas. This deep space prison had the same idea.

Containment is the only priority.

I’m not sure through how many stories I’ll need to tell before I think have control over it. Some days I don’t need a single cage. I don’t need to write another essay about how depression feels like some sort parasitic cloud washing over the globe like a swarm of ants. I want happier things to write about. I want more joyful things in my life. I feel like sometimes I’m caught in some sort of depressing gravitational force.

Sometimes, I alone can contain my depression. Through my writing, diet, exercise, and decisions, I can keep the phantoms off my shoulders. My healthy habits are like spiked satellites circling the monster in this void of deep and dark. They bombard the glowing fiend, who is eternal and unpredictable, which are two words that are swimmingly synonymous with depression. I always picture nuclear warheads being launched from the metallic claws of my guardian angels. They burst as atoms split into themselves like some broken rip of lightning on a stormy night. They burn the monster. They scorch its flesh. However, it never completely dies.

Other times, when I don’t have the discipline to power my gargoyles orbiting around my depression, I have to rely on the people around me to be my cage. My wife, children, family, all of them must be the offensive force. The waves of power igniting the emptiness and spreading into the void like a of bit heaven had fallen through a cramped crawl space. They’re my containment. They’re my gatekeepers. These are the times when I’m most vulnerable. When I bring my family into the abyss that is when my mental illness is at its apex.

They know that containment is the only priority.

Depression isn’t some force that falls to one magic bullet. You need a swarm. You need an entire spread of arrows, like the type that would whistle over shields and armor on some medieval battlefield. You need to have a plan. It can be your own. It can be a professionals. The monster bows to you when you know its weakness. Will you ever have it beaten? Will the demon ever fade from the dark? No, but containment is the next best thing. Figure out what works for you to keep your depression under control and make it happen. For me, it is writing about my sadness consistently.

It will never stop. I will never stop. I’m as endless as the monster I’m beating.

Containment is the only priority.


4 thoughts on “Containment is the Only Priority

  1. Alex Colvin

    Do you think containment is the thing or riding it through in such a way that it is bearable? James Hilton describes a process of putrifying, personifying, and psychologizing that leads to the growth of the soul. Perhaps creative expression facilitates the process.


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