Monday Musings 10/3

A special day for me. I would like to congratulate my amazing wife Geneva Marsh on our one full year of marriage. I love you. I’m so happy to be with you, and being married only makes it better. This year has been rocky with my job, depression, twin infant boys, and a multitude of chaotic abnormalities (I sound like a Star Trek captain). However, we’ve made it through it, and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for being mine. On to the musings!

  1. Netflix sort of had a meltdown this weekend. Apparently, Luke Cage crashed the system. I started watching it, and what I viewed I really liked. I thought the show would be “child friendly” due to it being a show within the Marvel universe. About ten minutes in, and I was proven vastly wrong, so I have to put the show on the back-burner until my stepsons aren’t around. I was a huge fan of Jessica Jones when that was released this time last year. David Tenant was outrageously good as the Purple Man, and the concrete-sorrow setting of Hell’s Kitchen is perfect for Marvel plots. I’m excited to see more characters based in the Defenders story-line.
  2. I think I’ve finally exhausted my itch that was causing me to write so many nonfiction essays about depression. Over the last six weeks or so, I’ve written four essays total about mental illness in different forms. The pieces included in this dubious collection are: The Echo of the Riverbed, No Face, Abandoned, and I Sing the Void. After reviewing these little tears of soulful ink and metaphor, I feel like I can finally rest on writing about it. It has been a two year process of confronting my issues, and learning to accept myself and all my destructive bits, which allows me to think I’m ready to move on from these issues. I will never be cured of depression, but at least I’ve confronted it with my writing. Knowing that I can face the devil stops me from wincing beneath its faceless gaze.
  3. DOL 39 will be released by Halloween. I’m really looking forward to releasing this serialized series via the Kindle. I’ve written the story specifically for a digital communication method, like a blog or eBook. Each story is broken down into a “Reaction,” which is a title given to any interaction that occurs with the monster that runs the plot, like some insidious dead sun in a parallel universe. DOL 39 was a classic case of me writing something I would like to read. It has an amazing villain in it. The format is different. It is not 3rd person, but instead a collection of perspectives told through memos, work orders, and journal entries. I love to write DOL 39, and I love to read it. If you don’t enjoy what you’re writing, if you wouldn’t read it, well, then there is no point.
  4. There are a pair of eyes living in the forest behind my house. I see them watch me at night when I take my dog out. For some time it was a bobcat, but I don’t think it’s that anymore. They’re narrow and haunting, like they were carved out of a lost woodland palace run by inhuman forces like in some Fairy Fort. How many monsters can come from those eyes if I let them? How many times can I make a shadow lurking in the dark when I see a pair of eyes without a body? Most times, I don’t need them. I don’t need anything but the dark. Still, its nice to have a bit of floating unknown watching me from the woods.
  5. It is funny to think that a year ago I was standing on a balcony overlooking the emerald lagoon of Key Largo writing my wedding vows. I was so nervous and worried. I wasn’t scared of getting married. I was more afraid of letting someone in, of allowing my wife to see my true self. You wear mirrors so much in your daily life. You just reflect back what people want to see. When you get married, and you start to share the closest and most intimate parts of your soul with someone, the level of honesty required to make it work is often overlooked. I’m so lucky to have a patient wife, who believes in me enough to know I will eventually get it right, and I won’t be afraid to be myself. Thank you, Geneva.

Thank you everyone for supporting me. I hope you have a good and safe week.

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