Having just published my newest entry on The Greenland Diaries, I’ve been in a weird state of reflection on the whole experiment. You see, as modern writers we’re given some extraordinary opportunities through blogging, self-publishing, and a gazillion literary magazines looking for quality submissions (I know for a fact that literary magazines want submissions, since I run one). Endless opportunities sometimes can completely naturalize your work ethic. So much opprotunity can take the fun out of it. The competition still exists in any forum; therefore, there is nothing more liberating than having nothing to lose. It can pull all the strength you need. Hidden strength. You have nothing to lose by trying new mediums.
Anyways, I just rounded a really disturbing group of entries for The Greenland Diaries. I’ve been wondering where all these ideas come from for me. I really don’t watch, read, or surround myself with too many dark things. Occasionally a piece of media attracts me and I become obsessed with it to the point that I want to replicate it in my writing (most recently Attack on Titan has done this to me). I don’t want to go on any introverted rant about my personality, but I’m unquestionably uncomfortable talking about the types of stories I’ve created. At conventions, readings, or even workshops I’ll flounder with describing why my themes and settings are so dark. I wonder if this makes me seem unprepared or just awkward.
I wouldn’t be so introspective right now if I weren’t in the midst of a massive lifestyle change. If you compared my life to what it was one year ago, you’d be as shocked as I am. As I engage and deal with this new transition, I’ve mildly let my writing go and this has made me miserable to be around. Sometimes, there are so many stories bubbling up inside of me, I wonder if there are two personalities living inside of me. The one who engages on an everyday level with common talk, and the other who thinks only of the world in reactions to ink. The gears are always moving. They won’t turn off. I need to figure out a way to deal with them before I’m rendered into a strange zombie.
I make it sound more dramatic than it is, then again, I’m a writer.
If you’re curious about the dark things I’m writing about, please click here to visit The Greenland Diaries.